Thursday, April 17, 2008

The feelings of dried bean are thought

Go around supermarket or market , I only one sees that dried bean will be remembered in those years, , , then being filled with at heart to have no let miss and unknown Nostalgia, , , so, I can buy to go home , do eat , is regardless of me how do, change pattern to do , have no in those years those feeling . . . . ..

10 some years ago,

There are well the illness of many mothers, I have had no necessity, stay in home, however, it is impossible to return to school to study. Am I thinking of my next step at heart what to be done? Stay in home , do farm work in gang home, do you go to county town it is free to make a little unskilled laborer? Or do you study what technology? So, need not stay for two years, I will play the role of the another role in my life, with me as age person, character wife and character mother , may I do not think that am so early, I want to do the dream that loses woman for some years. However, if stay at home, my destiny will be so. Do you go out? Are the sisters who walk out of and have gone out the same , go to surface to rush as soon as rush? However, , , I am really contradictory. My rightful contradiction , a relative has come my home, tell me that pa says that his village has the two persons in outside job hunting to go home to visit relative , may bring me. Originally, this relative has two daughters in outside job hunting, just when outside is still good. Papa has long said with this relative, seeing to have opportunity bring me.

After relative goes , papa asks me that there is what plan: Do you go out to find a job or stay in home? I have wanted to want to decide to go out to find a job still. Though, what I do not know surface to wait for me is a what world. Papa also does not know. What know is that others says. He also has contradiction, it is helpless to also have a lot, also have a lot do not give up , there are also many worryings, , , so, he lets my self decide , now wants to come , I originally decision is still correct. Though when outside have eaten is a lot of and bitter , but after all, is selected by self , and is now good.

The person that finds a job then is not many, have not so gone to coastal city from our county town reach regular bus. We only take train from county town from ship to provincial capital. So, it is early to rush.

The evening before last me. After mother has done supper, the fire in earth kitchen range has not been extinguished yet. Mother has again added a lot of broken broken endure the firewood of temperature to go in. Then use tile canned enter dried bean and the meat with thin half fertilizer. Put tile jar in earth kitchen range is intermediate, surround with firewood tight. So until second day in the morning, meat and dried bean are cooked and thorough , and have not been cooled , are still warm.

Papa has gotten up at four o'clock or later. I think that he still has mother, a evening has not been slept. Because I have not also slept. The daughter who never makes the daughter of excessively long-distance door and has never left them will leave the place that they go to very , and does not know the shape of what future. How can they sleep? I have also gotten up. Wash Shu have meal completely , luggage has long been prepared. Papa takes out tile jar from earth kitchen range , has packed lean meat and the dried bean of inside to come out , adjusts taste. Then, have stir-fried a bowl meal to me to eat. Dried bean is really fragrant and very fragrant, but I eat few. I want to eat a little more , because do not know this go to then can eat the meal in home some time. However, my heart, , , I am really unable to eat. Mother has not gotten up. Because her body sinks yet, how to be good , and it is cold day, I do not let her get up to send me. But I know , she affirms , is flowing out tear quietly. Because she often says that is that she should not not fall ill well , is so harmful that I have no book to read, now she affirms when say is she harm gets I will make outside job hunting. Not, mother, this is not your mistake. No a mother does not miss children well. Only your illness gets up well, how I have no.

Papa carries my luggage and elder brother with bicycle to send me together, go to the quay of county town to take ship. Also not walk for 3 or 4 10 minutes. Day has not lit very much yet. I when at heart say the words of and mother farewell. Going up me all the way go quietly. Papa is the 1000 exhortation instructions of 10 thousand land let me to be take care of self well outside. Meeting problem want how how. I know the mood of papa.

I take ship. I wave to papa, elder brother

Now, I am already having own home in the 10 outside few years of job hunting , have own spouse , have own daughter. Pa mother has also seen us. Now they already do not worry about me like same year , however, it is those to miss , it is those to worry about , I want to grow increasingly. Because of their old.

That tile canned dried bean the scene put in earth kitchen range, those beans of thick dried bean have already past fragrance, however seem in 10 few years yesterday, , , after dozen is that, I have also not eaten again to use the dried bean of tile jar this. Perhaps, mother has forgotten that I eat what in those years to leave home , again is why make come. I the following some of go home , having also forgotten to call mother this is eaten to me, mother also seldom does meal with earth kitchen range. Go to home perhaps notes is disastrous. Do not know home perhaps at home is good. Have only left home can just miss home.

Oh, mother has gone home

Dried bean, the beans fragrance

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