It is happy

Some person when outsider looks , it is very happy , but says by oneself that is unfortunate. Why? Because he or she can't see own happiness, also because of others can't see him or her is unfortunate. Because the demand of person is different, the desire of person is different, and desire is unlimited. Actually, happiness is also good, pain is also liked well also well , is hated also well , is a kind of feeling , is felt , everything is good. Poor is also good, it is also good to have , mood is good , is happy and infinite.

I do not know whether I am happy or am unfortunate. I think of very much the life when daughter has not been born. Then I go to work in a company, work is not very tired , will be two however to fall , night shift going home from work time is to divide in the evening at twelve fifteen, morning shift going home from work time is half past 3 in the evening. Then, we have no own house yet , are to rent room to live. We when lean the hamlet of seaside have rented a room, now, that village has re-created , has built Gao Lou and the house of villa type, rent is also expensive and a lot of. It is always public to go to work still in any company since then, being now. We rent the place of room, is not very far from our company, may walk to go to work , natural cycling more soon. Then my last morning shift does not work overtime , I buy vegetable to make meal , am old and public to have come off work , return "" to have meal , work overtime if wanting to work overtime , when doing not work overtime , we take a walk in seaside , blow sea wind , take hearing ocean current on rock sometimes to pat the sound of rock , have time foot runs on sandy beach, play sand , go to sea sometimes to play , but our stands in water to let sea wave assault our pair retreats , we are dry ducks. Then I feeling we are very happy, though, we have no a lot of money. Old public then duty factor is more busy, to follow production line. Major is then he has not developed his hobby yet "mahjong", also have no so many numb friends. Have come off work will go home , I go to home early I help him to burn take a bath water, he goes to home early he helps me to burn take a bath water.

Afterwards, that village will re-create , we move , live from our very near place, join 3 rent set rooms with my colleague the house of two halls. It has to be also very happy , is all right to watch television , plays "tractor" in weekend. Also is from then , it is always public to begin to develop his hobby. As a result, let me have known. He dozen mahjongs I am not glad , knowing him to deceive my that have been angry more. However, he does not understand my life , is to pay no attention to my life in other words. He more and more returns late , more and more returns few. It is that I have not handled this matter that I do not know , still why matter. I am still sad, he still is as always. Afterwards, daughter has been born , he good a time. Again afterwards, I have not worked , he has again returned to old trade ,since he is full-time to take care of daughter. It is to have more and more gotten into habit. For this matter, it has day for evening, I have taken knife unexpectedly, I ask him: It is to cut his hand , or cuts the hand of daughter. If cut my hand, can let him not to hit mahjong , can let him not to deceive me, I want! I need not really deceive! I not do not let hit , and it is to hope that he does not hit too many, because I need him, daughter also needs him. However, he has addiction , he does not hit to feel hand itch. So, he does not be angry for me , deceives me. And I most hate others all the life to deceive me! I feel that self lives in lie. Even feel that live in fear, it may deceive me if I can think of his matter, other matters may be also deceived. He raises to deceive my habit , he not deceive me to pawn matter. I am sad, I am sorry, I flow out tear. Do I do not know what to be done? I do not know my life why will become so! I am confused, I am horrified, I hesitate. I hope to have person to tell me very much, what to be done!

Daughter body is not very good, he feels always that is that I have not taken care of ,since he often falls ill. I say that adult also has the time of falling ill , adult has fallen ill , is that who has not taken care of. I also know that he is impatient, but he does not know that I am mother, can't I worry? Can I go to say who? I would rather self falls ill , also do not think that daughter falls ill.

Also do not know since some time , I understand suddenly that it is impossible to want him to change, if I do not change , I will be more painful! Because his company is developing , his position also has the more high field the more, his life circle is more and more big, his hobby is also more and more, and I have not worked , only surround daughter to turn , my life circle is more and more little, more and more narrow, I can only change self to accept his life. So, I advise self to think open that is some , advise self not to be angry.

I am calm slowly.

My current life and some years are former to have not changed. He is still his dozen mahjongs, I also no matter he returns more night, it is better that he returns to have supper , do not return , I also have no. Even, he is not is when dozen mahjongs I also do not mind , perhaps, it is the what that plays other. I am still the life of the daughter of taking care , am still the study of pipe daughter. It is many at leisure to read , go the rich guest of others sees , browse takes off other things. Life also does not feel that is hollow. Because I must let self approve , my temporary life can only be so , can not be thought of too many. So, now, I have no so many worries! Other whats have not changed , are that my mood has changed only. It is so difficult, so painful to beg other person to change , why not change takes off self? Society is so, can we change society? We can only change self to meet society!

I miss person happiness is unfortunate do not lie in person to pass what life , and lie in mood! Perhaps, happiness is very simple! Is to see whether person has the ability of feeling happiness. Happiness is not to come from material serve as the achievement of profit and common customs, is a kind of dedicate sacrifice the satisfaction feeling and joyfulness gotten diligently. Only know Xi good fortune, it can just have good fortune. Because when we cry , having no shoe by oneself at the time of wearing , we will discover that there is person to have no foot. I have not worked , lose working happiness! However, I do not rush time like the person who has work , this is also a kind of happiness. Daughter is very lovely, clever and lively, height is quick , has a little weak physique merely. Old public though often go home is very late, but his heart has not changed still , is to covet too to play only. So, I should be still quite happy. The more person asks few , satisfies the more easily , also feels happiness the more!

Person has told me: Person convenience,

I think of happiness sometimes when self is on hand, but I have not discovered her existence, have not treated her well! I think that flat life is just true, the love insufficient passion that water length flows out carefully can be but eternal.