It may come again( 16-19) if woman has how many dreams

It may come again16-19)

Author: Dark star

16th Zhang

Speak:

銆€銆€In evening of middle of spring, have had got the feeling of summer, gentle breeze and is warm, people if weave. People seem right off will mood is leisure , one tends to former cold winter bring recoil , what unfold is not only look , still have mental outlook.
Qi wish that spring is
Any row of street mouth little dining room, before door, little table pays , 32 good friends, is too fond of drink as drink , the dish on table is not very lush: A dish of plain pickles, a plate of marine products and this are the refined tastes of Tianjin person. Not only common people, perhaps, this is the feelings knot of this special Tianjin port city , condenses the traditional characteristic of quay culture, people for open-air wine table special outside like , regardless of identity how to, position is high. But wine friend will strive for , is not social relation , is not the relation of interests, can only is friendship very deep those good friend, otherwise can't drink to feel.
The in the open little table of spring, have lost summer with day row heat wave in, fresh and cool, feelings deliver is abundant. I often road goes through , is unable to bear always quietly is silly to think , early, have you said that so have last time little wine together with Si Yu , do not know to wait what annual what month? Key is mood. Remember him , have the feeling of a kind of round dream always, a little wine dream is cheerful.
Life perhaps should be so and simple. Actually each similar in simple have a story , this story string receives the past event that not forgotten , past event is heavy. We are the big child of heavy feelings , will not grow up surely forever on meaning, so, memory is exceptionally clear always, what remember is beautiful everything forever. A bit is life.
Perhaps after, how many years, so social relation is not important , include career, honor and money, even love. It is only, one wine matter of roadside, cannot throw is a and true to store , when the most valuable a angle of memory, smile , bosom is thought. We agree last spring to swim , is the memorial that we contact with. Decide to see mountain , as well as under that foot of the hill in the little house of farming person, eat the last time delicious meal of peasant family. Spring, the convenient deeply potential depths of memory. So, my smile language like friend child flows to shed , is that in the valley of dusk to be probably the feeling violated for a long time but have been not experienced. Each year's April, spring especially America, especially the spring with wild town.
" this is a what tree? " along the by-path of broken stone of village side, we straight go to the woods under foot of the hill. He always likes to so ask that I do not know. Before abandoned deep well, he throws a grain of cobblestone naughtily. " Dong! " that depressing sound tells us, well is very deep, that have possess mountain peoples a barrel of a barrel of in take Qing Lie in well go home is happy. Village in various Qu matter, since the male and female talk that loses eagerness always has become story.
" my meeting pushes you to
" you will not!
The joke of this grandson always has no side, and I experience from his joke, is innocent and pleased , even since he station is before the wild flower of a purple color , I can infect him , is relaxed and joyful.
It is tired. We sit respectively on green slabstone, that is to not know that what rolls in year from mountain, or have passed land to subside seawater peels to lose rear one side and that lies into soil mountain rock, it does not be sharp and high , but enjoys the style of mountain as before. When this Tian breath, always let person deep feeling multifariously.
" you say , we if is the countryside literature youth of 20 few years should be good? Shy love. " I look at the mountain of place with the sight of fancy, I think of my expression at that time, do not scoff.
He does not
" have a poem: Girl is long to float , two milk
" Pei! You are really yellow! " he Bi Yi ,
It is so, we purely happiness , seemingly, forget a lot
" our old. "
" our old. " I
Our real old , this is fact. Because it
" have meal Lou!
A dish of mountain mushroom is a dish of to call two bundles of smoke, a plate of peanut kernel, a big basin corn gruel, a little a bottle of liquor, 5 bottles of beer and the edible wild herbs of not last name, we again person physiology wants to talk nonsense , it is not drunk to how to drink?
Between wine, he makes noise to see month, a curved new
My friend He! We can not forget this story, it is the friendship tied deeply between heart. His happiness is my happiness, I beautiful is he is beautiful. We agree , still go to see mountain , and see sea next time , bring our kinsfolks , also bring ourselves.
I extremely

17th Zhang

Speak:.Alexander.Buddha La-Ji-Mi-Er-Luo
This time, discover after returning
" your illness?
She shakes to shake the head , gently my face dose son chest is former, picture a little cat that is injured. I stroke her hair, pity land hold her, my wife. I think quietly that this will be with me Si that woman who guards old , she is really tired to live. Her time of 40 years old has given birth to son - - our Du Jin for me the man of clan. Now Du Jin clan also has only me and younger brother have given birth to son , other is girl completely. Eastern woman kind is I can not term speech expression, that is a kind of art.
" company is not
She shakes the head
This time, I see nearly for a40In many years, on head, have
" I and Luo Si Yu
" why? " I know that Luo Si Yu is her best friend, before I go abroad they just know , the telephone that they will know every day for a long time. At that time, Sun Li says frequently, knowledge Luo is very glad, he is the most kind person who can most understand her in person that she knows. There is once, the view between them is different, Sun Li is angry to have cried , I and Si Yu are whole in telephone to have talked about two hours , help them to unify thought. I instruct Si Yu, man should let woman.
" our business progress does not obey is
" Ha-Ha, understand. Everybody will be tormented
" is? " she looks
" is! Not letter asks him. I
" En. " she
" Sa Sha, I have a kind of special feelings seemingly
I understand. Because I know the thought of the person who likes literature, for Luo Si Yu, I feel him sometimes is innocent as Sun Li, I look at them often picture the argument as child, I understand the thing of this kind of human nature, but it is very difficult to express. I do not know that how to exchange with Sun Li.
" is all right son, rest
Have had supper, Sun Li quiet
" old is public,
" is natural.
" why love?
" we are same
" you love other
" love
" who? " her
" one of Classmate I, she calls this tiny special La-Na , is one of my lover , is also university classmate. Graduation after I distribution goes to sea cucumber Wei, she disagrees that I go , but I have gone still. She is very painful, after I have gone , she would not stay in crow Ke-Lan , has gone to Italy to study continuously , has married afterwards to Italian. For her feelings, prevail against my two former wives. "
" they have
" yes, this time, I return former a period of China, have not thought of her to go home town does business. We in a dining room appearance have met , she has been old, however I always still reserve her young shadow, then we are just 19 years old. "
" she beauty?
" is very beautiful, the
" you this time
" we excite very much, afterwards, we have
" still like?
" have. " I truthfully reply. " however we no sexual relation,
" why?
" not why, restrain , still have fear ,
" I understand.
Afterwards, I roll up her quietly,

18th Zhang
銆€ Speak:
銆€銆€This duration, my mood is gradually gentle , has got a self-examination opportunity for self. I begin to consider , a person, for the pursuit of love, besides being prerequisite with the location of marriage, other is a kind of supplement of cultural life however, love if have put aside this marriage prerequisite, in as if vase view and admire flower, what satisfy is momentary visual effect. Reason a , again beautiful flower has no cultivation of soil, it is that nutrition is not whole that what sheet rely on sunshine and water moisten. That flower has withered meeting eventually, even as the love under marriage prerequisite, if not pay attention to the cultivation of the feelings of later stage, it is also to have got soil alone like flower and has lacked sunshine and water moisten , sooner or later, can also wither. If is taking love as life cultural life will have ample ideological preparation completely , take the energy of a lifetime meticulously He protect , the feelings that appears otherwise because of love injury problem will be the dangerous chance that person can not evade somewhat lifetime, or it is wound person , or has wound quilt.
Love is the abstract concept of a kind of ideology field, it should plant thoroughly in certain social big environment , decides superstructure like economic foundation , has left survival way and the survival consciousness with specific everybody, love will become nihility floats Miao, have no in order to adhere. Though, more person looks at love the condiment of life big meal, advocate a cup of water doctrine, however, the appearance of two feelings happy is the existent prerequisite condition of love. Once love not existent time, must both sides at the same time desalinize , otherwise so called injury is unavoidable.
There are sentence words: Love has hate deeply have is deep. But cognition has no , is believed tentatively. In fact, now looks this is love locus a kind of, today, what I believe more is , have a kind of love to shout to kiss feelings.
Love definite not whether accept
The transition in each kind of process, must the both sides of love common control , both will explain mood and will say everything feelings, it is so called and sincere , not only show when He protect , should show in frankness. Transition is a kind of transformation, just like the process of exuviating of some animals, so, appearance is not definitely suitable , but has the factor of a kind of fission really. Often, the both sides that like can not at the same time understand , will so produce a kind of misunderstanding , have twisted the psychological, physiological state of the nature of human nature , so have twisted the very love.
Is hated by love
Very good transition lies in the love transformation of thick to kiss feelings, perhaps having lost passion take off move to allow , however many solicitudes that tender feeling takes off , will the kinsfolk of opposite side the same set up to put when at heart, changes in temperature comfort nationality is natural. Think at heart, it does not be a bit of opposite side that feelings words and love embody in life, it is ordinary and easy to overlook. It is weak to see to seem mood, actually deepen feelings, do not know.
Regardless of those love, is real love what? Nan private words, soft feelings words are a kind of collisions of mood eventually. The feelings expressed are desires only, love wants , lust. The feelings that not expressed are just strong point and the landing of feelings mass. But this kind of love must test via certain stormy waves, otherwise it is not enough true to kiss the composition of feelings, can not also get rid of the distress of mood. Once having no vexed love, both sides have deep understanding and confidence , have not even suspected and envied. So , kiss feelings collect to think of , such love absolutely has no pain, is love very to.
Love, once become to kiss feelings , convenient have got the going out of opposite side of late at night whether safety fear and worrying, is opposite side haggard a silk pity sprouted , even is the big bowl of opposite side has meal move about one silk is happy. Only being this, it is flat, insufficient to mention.
The marrow in-depth blends in blood, love makes the mood creep of person silent, in gentle, it is weak and surely ordinary. 10 thousand years too for a long time, it is deep-rooted to imprint on the mind.

19th Zhang

Speak:
銆€銆€One day, I is company's arrangement work,ZHave gotten leukaemia. She has not said what in telephone, a meaning, let me take care of my elder son. I have comforted one she. Return to home, I tell Sa Sha this matter. Hear me gentle even have joyful tone, Sa Sha blocks up my mouth hurriedly , says horrifiedly: " do not want is so, God can punish him! He has been wrong God punishment he, he gloats over other's misfortune God will not also excuse him. " I have a little been moved right off, it is westerner religious theory.
I hate myZ, he has
At the time of 24 years old, I meet him, at that time his special secondary school graduation has attended work, it is classmate of middle school with me, I meet with him on the bus of school, in that year, my university will soon finish. University period, since thinking , self is a sentimental ugly girl , wants to seek a kind of feeling liked by people, he has so appeared at the right moment. However, parents disagree on , think that he has no educational background. I want to like a renovation universe at that time only, also sink the words of parents when matter. It is the friend of two olds that parents find defence division chief of school and school, consult some whats, I am unknown. May I see , my relatives and friends, the land of whole people of general mobilization is doing my ideological work. To persuade me, they have even instigated rebellion of my good friend of same schoolhouse. The way of instigation of rebellion is very simple , lets them keep watch on me to their rice rice. My person has contrary since childhood to turn over psychological, such grand resistance effect nature , promote to hair the determination that I must resist with "common customs" after all. On the one hand, I for him letter oath dawn dawn, expression for him Zhong loyal not change. I have even scalded arm with cigarette end , still have a little scar so far; On the other hand, I struggle continuously with parents. That time, he goes our home, entreating my parents agreement marquis, mother has rushed him , he cries have left our home. At that time on day, fall rain, he takes off the new leather shoes on foot , fears to ruin by rain, hard is barefoot goes to go home. In his home, life condition is not good , he is very thrifty. The parents of my then have begun to manage enterprise, my economic condition is more affluent and more a lot of than general family, in moreover our home one of my child. In other words, I am pampered. Therefore facing so a kind of scene, sympathize with and move the fighting will that has evoked me more, I declare war to parents.

I change negative struggle way , is positive, method is very simple: I have liked photography very much , and handle dark room technology by oneself, the developer solution that I use is to contain poison , feigns to eat that thing to scare parents , and it is a part of to cut off own hair , do is not him do not marry in order to die to resist form. It is knelt that father scares to give me , they have so compromised , have no choice. I bring the attitude of winning person to seek him , between his that in the single dormitory of dark moist, under the encouragement of their colleague, I have held wedding ceremony.

It is a plate of rabbit meat and a plate of peanut kernel to marry to fete , a bottle of 10 comes the liquor of piece money, another I am bold to have gone to virgin career. After graduating , we formally marry , he has brought100Yuan money Beijing that goes , the last part of the place of living and the wall of next door is known , because it is cheap. However, the Beijing roasted duck of then likes eating really. My parents bless us sincerely, when we have gone to Beijing, the condition that bridegroom and bride do not be on the scene the lower hem 20 table wines entertain to kiss friend good friends.
The trifling life after marriage, I am suiting with great efforts. Have got son afterwards, my life has become at three one line: Go up going home from work, take child , go home. Just like go on a single plank bridge, war Jing land march forward , have fantasy abdicate with pursuit in reality. This duration, daytime I between and night I sentence seemingly if two persons. Each is evening, lie on bed to fall out cover to sleep not , in the brain just as by mood, can rise , it is full; Again is empty seemingly to let one feel nervous. Per night, hope to go to sleep by oneself as soon as possible , in order to tomorrow has more energy and strength to deal with those trifling life burdens. Daytime I often let self feel strange, sometimes, can not shake head from autonomous place, will invade that seemingly suddenly cerebrum a certain memory hates land swing.
銆€銆€Z, my ex-husband is one and its realistic just insipid person , is family sanitary problem beside work, this is my short item just. We often quarrel for example him, have cut 10 slices of dried slices of tender bamboo shoots to boil fish , as soon as I do not be careful , have eaten. Make a noise! At that time literature popular language: Marriage is the grave of love. This viewpoint is approved rather, however, perhaps, problem happens , is with me , I am too romantic.
He is still a person of Gu Jia , eats meal every day definitely home , makes the matter of household duties , watches television. We seldom exchange , possibility is love too strong bosom is intense, have to say that is over.
In many nights, son will urinate , he helps son. I hurry to close eye, Xiang after pack to sleep again by appearance woken body up , deeply shout one breath, have just turned , I do not want to let him know me to sleep not , actually, I am thinking of a poem.
Marriage is mediocre in rear time, this duration, he has completed the school work of 4 amateur universities , and has become a judge under the help of parents. What have not thought of is that reforming and opening up is also reformedZWorld outlook , philosophy of life , love is watched. Because of the characteristic of working nature, he begins to often go on a business trip , the frequency that he goes on a business trip afterwards more and more frequently, his matter what in home also no matter , include fiting up house. I arrive since selling wood to choose paint , a piece puts together the figure of wooden floor, it is whole to have done 3 months. He goes home occasionally early, also lie there two hairs are straight, receiving telephone go. Have once he has again gone on a business trip , I go to his unit to inquire actual situation , as soon as entering his office, he is rubing leather shoes there, I discover at last that he is lying.
Who is that woman? It is not difficult problemBbMachine Taiwan, I feign machine God , have36Year the old maid that does not marry , when Gao Fa work, they are also indirect colleague. To grasp evidence, I begin to trail. 80 decade, a lot of paste on the glass that sends rent vehicle have dark membrane. I have rented one, when he going home from work marquis etc. he. At last, once lets me have waited that he moves towards a lane from unit front door, I have followed the building crowd. In second day, I have bought a miniature recorder , arrive his accommodation, he is repairing door lock, see me he is astounded , I unexpectedly since go in house, as soon as furniture should be complete , open wardrobe, what see is the clothing of that woman, it may say if he has no words. In drawer, I discover a letter that I give him , am the content of similar posthumous papers, that is that letter that I have written the other and love letter that gives him has no. Three of our persons study law , I dare not think. To protect self through legal means, this is my final decision. So, I have changed one they not when the time of home, take off neighborhood , ask about to neighbor. Neighbors think that they are husband and wife, I make recording.
I do not divorce. Have married for decade , the marriage of decade already I since a flirtatious romantic female student has become a well-behaved domestic woman. A youth no longer middle-aged woman, and it is the woman who has completed the transformation of body and mind thoroughly , does not be easy!
He does not go home, telephone also does not receive , certainly, also do not live in that place, I can't seek him. In the beginning, I reserve reputation to him, do not go his unit, let him return to say this clear matter with me.
I so take child every day still. All the way go up, reply inadvertently the various problems that child puts forward. It is thorough to trouble at heart, often when passing shop, buy a toy carelessly to child. Return to home, take from refrigerator before today a heat that leave meal heat , eat casually. Son plays son conscientiously in, mouth pouts constantly for toy Nong what instruction. I let powerless body bury , is in sofa , one receives one smoking.
As soon as thinking of son, my heart is a burst to ache. Son has sent in 6 months into nursery, then as my hardships in work of prosecutor since need not say. At that time, child will not still sit , aunt thinks of method , dig a ordinary table each 3 semicircles, install 3 little chairs again in gap place , put 3 children respectively , claim to be: 3 hall joint trials. 3 children at the same time cry does not stop.
Process near 1 years refuse to budge , the faith that he divorces does not alter. Allegedly, that is because of the person in home of opposite side have participated from it, smooth Costa Rica sister has 7 or 8 mouthes , asksZGive saying. A peasant family has made university student, have been judge, though having become old maid, that is the result of choice. Do you now give that virgin membrane unexpectedly by a married man to go? This should be more grand major event in that times. Her older sister asksZThere is a saying, possible reply makes opposite side satisfy , opposite side does not make noise. As soon as their big gang son person rests to not make noise, I may want to make noise. Do not make mistake! I have also been the person who has virgin membrane!

I will seek a division chief in the political-legal member of the National People's Congress, he is my colleague in the past. I have written a letter, have gone their two persons the department of discipline inspection of unit. Opposite side pays attention very much, afterwards, their two post promotion gets influence therefore. From thisZHate to die I! Indictment is divorced. I regret that decade comes , it will be not passed that my his wages one divides money, other money are also controled by him, depositing have altered the name of others early. Now, I have no evidence, approximate 10 ten thousands of have not fallen. This kind of condition drags also have no meaning.

At last, I sign numbly on divorce document. Decade marriage, decade vast years, come to here to finish , as if ancient zheng broken line, there will not be sound again. Look over to begin in cover has the thin a paper of the department seal of civil administration, many words have no speech in order to answer , can only wash surface with tear.

I hate! Hating have what to use? That is I from the bitter wine made , the person of how to have not had bitter wine does not know that regreting this two words of trade mark on bitter wine bottle is written. I know! But is too late.