It may come again46-48)
Author: Arrange:
46th chapter
Speak:
For nearly going home from work time,
Who? It is social to still have customer
Colleague says that
Have managed the matter on8Count.
The door of company's big office half inside drive , a office, Luo Si Yu and Liu Wei is is impassioned. My footsteps makes their talk sound Ga however stop. Are they talking about my what? My mood is little to shake one, an instant Zhui Zhui worry gushes.
Go into office, they at the same
" go , have wine!
We have chosen a is not very luxury , but have the dining room of somewhat quietness. Have counted some plates of pickles , belong to the characteristic of Tianjin. His two is mad to drink , resembling similar previous life to sink have had wine. 3 cup liquors are poured fully. Have no speech clink glasses , let however as soon as drinking. They chat , I am hearing quietly. I imagine self as a supporting role , hear their discussion, I like this kind of role.
Liu Wei asks me some matters on business as before,
It is also a cup of, Luo Si Yu is tiny and smoked , sight some are blurred. " should be good if we always so have wine and chat together He! " he says for Liu Wei in, tone has a kind of is sentimental.
Liu Wei has not spoken , unexpectedly since take cup is also to drink let. They are really become by classmate into friend, it is intimate. My some admire , the friendship between man is fresh and cool, wide open heart door leaf , do not talk without place.
The words of Liu Wei are gradually many , in tone, it does not be gentle, those fun the taste of curse has again come up , though is sincere expression. " do not say , I understand! " besides the words of Liu Wei often let me realize his writing ordinary person is those and deep as doing not know. I do not want to interrupt as before , fear to have disturbed the atmosphere that they exchange , I realize and experience the various pleasant sensation that they exchange , I am a acceptable audience with great efforts.
The vegetable elimination on table has to be slowed very much, mood fills in wineglass. Life to feelings is to sex , it has not been slightest and hypocritical , I had been infected. Subject begins to turn to discussion woman, I do not exist seemingly in accordance with my self. Right now, Luo Si Yu pours a part of liquor in my cup without language to a cup of his lining quietly , hints that I drink less. Do not think that this movement is seen still by Liu Wei, Liu Wei unexpectedly since give my the wine in bottle , make the wine recovery in my wineglass original and so many. Expression sees Luo Si Yu to say seriously: " you the enough son of elder brothers! "
This time,
Liu Wei says: " I like woman, kind woman.
Luo Si Yu laughs
Right now Liu Wei, it is dim
" come , for good woman, the women
Hear for the first time that men so discuss woman so sincerely , are not the tones ironic. First cognition men is flirtatious, it is bold and bears. First understanding men is fragile, face feelings congeal weight. The man as iron, the tenderness as water, I appreciate.
They are half and
Luo Si Yu cries out high
See Liu Wei again,
" you are all right son?
Liu Wei is far away and
" you, is today to have wine? "
" oh, is going to say with you that some of my Liu Weis of selection of subject think that are good, preparation investment cooperation this some sets of book series come out , pass with us that cultural company shine. " Luo Si Yu says , and do not evade the fact that they have studied.
" do. " I describe carelessly land reply. Actually this come should have no my what matter , though, that license always keeps , but I already do not store what opinion. Originally at registered time, it is to cooperate with Luo Si Yu, afterwards change have let me thoroughly disappointed. Even if their result of today can not arouse my enthusiasm as before, though, all are still friend , include Liu Wei, I am deep for his impression, however, possibility is my heart has been numb, or say that I seemingly still have to, for Luo Si Yu, have a kind of resentment that can't say , this kind of resentment is sufficient to make me can not shine again former enthusiasm.
" still love me? " see my
" not! " my
The expression of Luo Si Yu begins , is dim , turn and say for Liu Wei: " the time that I insert team in countryside, landlord has son , is 145 years old at that time. We get along very well. Night of one day in, I have slept , hear suddenly that there is person to knock my window. I lift window , have seen his face- -Excited expression,- -He hands over a I peach. There is a peach in their domestic courtyard, peach dare not be picked deeply , fear that his papa scolds him. In night, he has stolen one , then comes to give me. Until peach is completely cooked, he rides the bicycle welded with the pipe of tap water, in ride more than 100 arrive town sells. Change to return few some money in, give home buy daily necessaries. I always remember this matter, also do not know why. The year before last, I have returned time village. He is about to be grandfather unexpectedly. I mention that in same year, he sends the matter of peach to me in night, he has forgotten completely. When having meal to have wine , my some get excited. However, he has no reaction , asks persistently what investment intention I have , has ginseng share to manage the meaning of sweater factory. "
See us have not answered words , Luo Si Yu says continuously: " beautiful matter, it is just meaningful that real situation etc. have only in certain time part. Very disappointed very absurdity is? But beautiful thing is beautiful forever, absolute will not because he current common customs disappear even is a little. A lifetime of person has many things that deserve treasuring. But it is this kind of to treasure , should not change because of environmental change. "
I clear Luo Si Yu the meaning in words.
Supper eats night at eleven o'clock,
A lot of before story, original source since treasure , treasure that have carved in each impression of heart door leaf, blend in a bit of blood pulse, I think that I do not be self , have become his shadow. In that copy of tender feeling has become me with memory to remember wave is beautiful as not go. How many years , seem me have long should forget him, actually he has left me very for a long time , even if I have thought to forget his meeting can not, I always miss him , think of our story. Today, I must forget him, he has injured me, slip into me with his soul spirit in dream. In dream, he has stabed one of my knife inadvertently , begins me and does not feel that pains after, wake up is more and more painful. I have feared , so learn to hate him. Suddenly between, I discover that I am always hating him , can not so forget , this hates , just go deep into marrow. Like , original as this cannot bear to attack. A person forgets a person , is so and simple originally , hates the method of being. And this hates my genuine feelings, and give up hope to collapse land have the heart to recognize that this hates , it is so and difficult , have in the road of my life.
47th Zhang
Speak:
Returning go
Sa Sha asks: " today returns
" Luo Si Yu has come , there is still one of Classmate he, call Liu Wei. Say that is to study the project of publication books. Liu Wei makes investment , I miss us may do Russia to unfreeze this literature selection of subject, I like the business of cultural kind, after I miss our old , it is very interesting to do these matters. "
"Are you good"
"Already plan is"
"Has Luo Si"
"I see may."
"In which"
"En."
I do not be willing to say what , arrange29At the time of year-old, a publishing house has gathered for me after a prose. Like to write some random notes since these years. Especially having known Luo Si Yu, I am around to have written the thing of the word of 10 thousand more than 40 , have recorded the process of a kind of feelings completely. I prepare to find out former writing , include having no computer write next manuscript, there is also the article before 20 some years, I want to arrange them again to become a kind of new works form afterwards. My experience, even as the experience of feelings also being sufficient make reduction my book with a valuable achievement, I decide to begin this.
Now, some of papers slipperyZWrite to me. I like , store letter, in the past, I have the hand volume pack of little one, there are my long letter in inside, some letter paper has sent Huang Fa Cui, but handwriting may be discriminated vaguely. As the beginning of letter, it is the word of " see word as meet ". These letters now look just like the account of running water of a page of page, discuss recent developments , discuss knowledge. Have not written article with hand in a lot of years , hand letter has the 7 or 8 word of 10 thousand probably, but I really do not be willing and then read carefully them.
ForZ, I now only detest , have no heart of a silk that thought fondly of. Now, elder son has grown big and small group sons , wants university to graduate immediately. I remember clearly that that passes the Spring Festival for a year with the two persons of elder son, I busy work, in big that day of the last day of the lunar year, in home, what has not also prepared. When I drag tired out two legs, go to the time of going home , far see the window in home go up paste red tune money, the word of " good fortune " on door is conspicuous. Child! My eye acid. In hand, firmly grasp to the red muffler that child buies:80A Yuan. In that night, elder son has decided from hotel that vegetable is sent to home. Our mother two one side sees " spring night" to have wine. Prosperous error takes me in New Year's Eve, from then to know that child has grown up.
In these years, he studies at university , no matter I do not be easy , have guaranteed the school work of child still. Country that he goes to has no opportunity of student studying abroad of job hunting, everything will lean me to provide ,ZIt is to be indifferent. There is even once, I seek him for the tuition problem of elder son to borrow money , only thousands of first money, he still lets me have hit receipt , and has mentioned expressly with the strict time of reimbursement and the possible interest that time out need to pay. Actually, hasn't son raw him? When that of my signature even in one minute, see him to rise appearance that 2 Lang Tuis are waiting for , I only disdain , have no anger. Hear of that he has now had millions of savings , but has not delivered one to child to divide the tuition of money. He has said that at the time that child marries , he can make the money of half to buy house and vehicle , gives to son. But that is not current, I think that what is him only show off , he in is " Hong with dark " company the villain of type.
Now, when I arrangementZ, it is that I can not
"Are you"Sa Sha
"I prepare to write"
"This some of photographs"He takesZMarry to
"Do not"It is lost that I take"You do not want may,"Sa Sha says
I look at his back view
48th Zhang
Speak:
Luo Si Yu says that we will complete us, get together
I have not refused that expression is agreed. Part nearly for two years , sediment when at heart Yi depressed needs release. Have not been wrong! He has really gone into my soul depths, and hereafter, result will inevitably be two words: Drift apart. We need to finish thoroughly. Have learnt to break , talent can have progress.
Automobile jolts on hubbub boundless plateau loess, that has also been the place that I yearn for. Day and land rich become a and innocent , let one even think of the original between flood famine year , is not desolate , is mysterious to declare publicly , scenery happy person, influence mood some low I.
All the way go up, Luo Si Yu has no language quietly, I know what he is thinking. I also sink have no language. Duration, he occasionally gently Zuan my hand, I respond , is gentle. We go out all the way, also because being the feelings knot that not waved for him. 30 years ago, in times of that confusion, he, with parents, has left the big city that he knows , arrives this remote little city. There, have lived for a lot of years. There, he has passed his pure juvenile times as well as ignorant youth time. He says , his wish I must let me accompany that place, we have come at last.
Vehicle has stoped at last in a little cities and towns , this is a I the land of memory blank, grey cloud is densely covered sky picture a black and white wash painting, high spread top, under foot, it is the dust sand of Huang Huang, holding lift lights point. Though, little town is old, but it is coordinated very not that modern town government building and periphery depository type people house look. Luckily entire scenery can let one feel splendor and the atmosphere of a kind of creature still.
I accompany8Count , not picture
Is only between, suddenly
This is the place that he holds in those years< xml:namespace prefix=st1 ns="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"/>< chmetcnv unitname=绫?sourcevalue=1 hasspace=False negative=False numbertype=3 tcsc=1 w:st=on>It< chmetcnv/>Far place, I know that is the point of tear
Very for a long time, he stands to get up , just thinks of my existence seemingly , returns beyond the limit, I rush at suddenly to him , hold his neck, he uses two arms tightly encircle me, tightly, it is thorough and however angry.
Afterwards, he always immerses when miss old times in mood can not take out is away from, this is inconsistent with the original intention that we assemble. But our heart is having produced a kind of sad pity , my little meaning becomes insignificant. I can't help remembering us first appearance meet , see him the first time, that is morning of early winter before 4 years, when the cluster of a group of friend rushes in , he goes to me in front of, see each other to seem weak Ran, also know probably long ago, courtesy shake hands , have not yet excited.
Have wine and his sight. Deliver cupNobodyI know thatIn unclear,Having noThis is theRegardlessIt will.Other personsIt isAir isSight dissociateI know the.I drinkTake a cupI doQuietlyItI know.After wine, have not exchanged , nature go arrive is a, his left curved right-hand rotation land brings me the furthest end of corridor, circuitous, not forget to use hand take my waist gently, the hint like gentleman we to, I am curious indifferently.
Furthest end is a big suite , has graceful arrangement, antique furnishings does not wait for under lamplight until he says what, I am well-behaved to untie own clothing, he looks at me quietly, seem when appreciation a drawing does. In face of his sight, I come up him, let him light Chu. He a time of is another and everywhere light to sigh , I am woman. Sexual feeling has ideological sex really well. For him, I will seemingly complete a masterpiece.
Sexual Buddhist of being for human nature Wu. Sex is not to lead off , such as animal. Sex is language. I gently soothe him, arouse his little bridge type of running water is sexy to know , he is enjoying slowly , enjoyment woman is tender, just like Chen Nian recollections, carry is soft and long forever. Picture a child, hear person mother the story of fairy tale of be distant. A kind of is moved. Slowly, his brows light crape, it is heavy to firmly grasp me to is heavy-handed , my two milks and the impulses of man are original, I enjoy his wild nature and his inspiration. Let him experience woman fully is weak and cannot bear to attack,! He is intrepid, even his plunder. The combination for language and perfect of sex and soul is not only human body.
Afterwards, we just have seemingly the words that say not , like two little partners, virginity is pure to show self, this is he the feeling that I have violated for a long time, he says that his biggest desire is to be our old , brings the wife and children of our each, like Utopia to live in a space, at the same time, we do our literature continuously. I have , is what to not think ever? But we live after all today of social high speed development, now we have not seemingly selected , we Cheng pay responsibility. He understands certainly. What I also know him to say is our fairy tale, we just have fairy tale together. Because of our common recognition: It does not be everlasting, is have possessed. When we declining years afterwards, recollections we this deep-rooted imprint on the mind love feelings, this is we sweetness and happiness. He says this words vision is filled with is moved to let me will not forget forever.
The happiness of love can not describe , my life can not have no love , and has still rich and colorful love , says on broad sense that I like various love, no love my Si Yuan meeting is exhausted, appearance meeting is old and feeble, aspiration can weaken , in other words, love is the fiery combustion-supporting dose of my life, however, it can not control us , is for the pursuit of life big extent reached , perhaps, we can not now still say that settle the last goal of that big extent reached, perhaps it as if a straight line has no terminal point forever, but love is in this straight line each line segment, each love can lock a feelings knot , as if the inn in journey again comfort can not also stop the step that people continue former trip.
After leaving him, aftertasting always become soft and long. Now, for a long time violate a mood, the feeling that a thread and age are unconcerned. Is rare, is to have been never valued so burst out a kind of shake. Feelings and sensitive is the essential factor of love, it is a kind of pale language to describe.
The pain of difference is not to miss , but is to lie in to tell. We have no reality, love as if probably a soul. We stand again to the forward position of soul. I look at him quietly, it is calm and depressed. There are only the respiration of our two persons again in world, is transmiting.
Yes! As the site scene in film, open the front door of hotel room, we have not enough time to take off coat, the first matter is to embrace tightly, our shake of the whole body land kiss. The process of having no we have become two bare sculptures. When we no longer good fortune and decoration, he bends on my the body, close quarter land look at me. In the body that he enters slowly to me, have no movement. Yes, do not want movement , do not want! Need to want to let human body say everything. The feelings without language, of each other belong to , gently, gently. Very for a long time, we are still so. Our interdependent, our climax one is moist, it is the one time that rush after having completed all skin dialogue for day. He is suddenly light to shout: " treasure! " all grievance, need not term speech feels relieved. This is absolutely not sexual role!
I have slept , lean on in his bosom, do not know how long. Wake up , see him to open to stress Jing. Then, he announces seemingly to world that says: " I love you! " tear seizes Kuang, but I do not cry. I still yesterday I. He pulls me ruthlessly ruthlessly to his side again, dead deathtrap grasps me.
I gang he department good clothing deducts , his
Love, what says is not. Process assembles break up drive off is strong, love has been concentrated to become a grain of crystal. This is the masterpiece of life, we hold it, forever. However, it is also invisible. We have lost opposite side each other , and must lose.
The trip of Tibet lets me decipher
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